I have a shirt of water resistance +5. Dead serious.

I’ll wash it. When I take it out of the washer it’s so dry that I can literally wear it immediately. Meanwhile, all the other laundry is soaking wet, but this one shirt remains dry. It happens every time. Now I need one of those “+50% greed” or whatever they are which lets me make more money, and I’m all set. Me, my shirt of water resistance, my sock (?) of +50% greed, and my fortune.

I’m pleased. I had 1.5 hour extra today so I read 9 feed entries. Only 2982 to go!

An attempt at poetry. It was fun!

You meant much to me
I touched you, felt you
tasted you, bit you
inhaled your scent
tried your clothes
tried to fuck you
in your clothes
marveled in your magnificence.

You meant too much to me
I tried to touch you, feel you again,
taste you, bite you again
inhale your scent
become you
fuck you, again
it’s veiled in the faint scent of decay now
because of what you became to me.

Your mother
I want to thank her
congratulate her
tell her what you meant to me
too much
but she won’t care
too many have touched you, felt you, tasted you, bitten you, inhaled your scent, worn your clothes, tried to fuck you, in your clothes
marveled within you
and I can’t reach her anyway.

So I fool myself
I taste you again
but you are memory now
fading quickly
I actually panic, if only a little
I gulp that scent of decay that lingers down
if I can’t keep you here I’ll swallow you whole
hide you inside me
digest you
perhaps you’ll mean more if others can’t see you
or perhaps it’ll stop you from fading.

The ex sensation.

I can only guess at the amount of emails/day it takes for a person to whip up something like this — I got it as a response to an email I sent just now:
[This message was generated by an automated system.]

I am not on vacation, but I am at the end of a long time delay. I am
located somewhere on Earth, but as far as responding to email is concerned,
I appear to be well outside the solar system.

After your message arrives at [domain], I will collect it in my next batch of
incoming mail, some time within the following 24 hours. I will spend much
of the following day reading that batch of mail and will come across your
message at some point. If I can write a response for it immediately, the
response will go out in the next outgoing batch–typically around 24 hours
after I collected your message, but occasionally sooner or later than that.
As a result, you should expect a minimum delay of between 24 and 48 hours in
seeing any response to your mail to me.

If you are having a conversation with me, please keep in mind that each
message you receive from me is probably a response to the mail you sent 24
to 48 hours earlier, and any subsequent mail you sent has not yet been seen
by me.

That’s… huh. I didn’t think that’s what I sounded like. I betcha it isn’t, either.