Sick.

Sick for the first time since I left Sweden. And coincidentally, homesick for the first time since I left Sweden. I’d give anything to just head over to my mom’s and fall asleep on the bed in her guestroom now.

Yesterday I suddenly felt like crap so I decided to go to bed despite it being 9pm but I have a hard time falling asleep. Outside my door — right outside my door — a bunch of my neighbors are chattering away. One of the Koreans left today, so they were all sort of being social for his last evening here.

Meanwhile my body’s starting to shake like a leaf. For the first time since I got to Japan, I feel super-cold, so I grab the extra blanket and pull it over me and try to sleep, but whenever I’m about to fall asleep, someone in the group outside yawps out a laugh or raises their voice in some argument or whatever, so I’m jerked awake each time. At 12.30 am I decide I’ve had enough so I climb into my clothes, walk outside and tell them to shut the fuck up. Great connection with my neigbhors from here on, I can just feel it.

Today I woke up 5 billion times, but kept falling asleep again. Or rather, I couldn’t climb out of my bed. Around 3.30 pm I finally managed to get up, but now I’m sitting here with no ambition to do anything whatsoever. I should eat but I’m not hungry. I don’t even wanna THINK about how to deal with dinner.