Since I got here in April, a few people have gone out of mine and others’ lives, sometimes just as abruptly as they entered. Since we’re all here temporarily, with different set times of stay, friends depart as we stay, and we are reminded of when our day comes.

It sounds a little overdramatic, maybe.

The first person to go home was actually this twitchy little Swede who I briefly spoke to. He was here for all of 3 days, even though he had paid to be here for 3 months (paid the school tuition, and for the apartment he was to stay in). A day or so after I arrived, the landlord asked me to go “speak to this guy who’s from Sweden, cause I can’t figure out what his deal is”. The guy was 18, had just graduated from high school, and was completely terrified at the thought of being away from mom. He had called his mom the day after he arrived, and she’d immediately booked him a plane ticket back home. Stupid mom. In any case, he was now dead set on returning, and nothing I said would change his mind. “It runs in my family. We get nervous, stressed out.” That’s what he said. I can’t claim to be a psychologist so I’ll leave it at that.

The next people to leave were Daniel and Elin. They were here for 10 weeks (roughly 3 months), and although I didn’t actually know them very well, I had still talked to them a lot and felt like I sort of knew them.

After that came Jun, The Korean Guy, who left about a month ago if I recall. I didn’t know him that well, but Rojio (no clue on the spelling), a spanish girl, had begun to date him, so she was kind of devastated when he went home.

Then yesterday, Ricardo. Ricardo’s originally from Guatemala I think, but he’s lived his whole life in Sweden, so he was in the Sweden-group. He’s also one of the closer friends I have here so far, so him leaving was a bit of a bummer. Lee, a chinese girl who’s been dating him basically since a month after we got here, was and still is devastated about his departure.

I guess what affects me the most is seeing the one being left behind. I know that at some point I’ll be going back home, and I’ll be leaving everything that has taken on a meaning here during my stay behind. I will be leaving my girlfriend behind, and although we are talking about long term plans and what to do from here on, we will be apart for a long while, regardless. At least 6 months. Possibly a year. Possibly even more.

My original plan has always been to stay here for 2 years, but with my current level of proficiency, I may be ready to take the highest-level test in Japanese proficiency as soon as March, next year. If so, there really is no meaning in me staying here for another whole year. It would be a waste of money that I never had to begin with (student aid).

So now I’m looking at maybe only being here for another 6 months. We’ll see though. If I’m 100% sure that I can pull off that exam, I will go back in April. Otherwise I will stay another year. Decisions, decisions.