Hospitality must be the most underrated cultural shock in existence. From looking people in the eyes when talking to them, to not staring at people when talking to them (i.e. direct opposites) (and for the record, the former is Sweden, the latter is Japan), to taking your shoes off by the entrance, to the subtle intricacies of properly inviting somebody to — or disinviting somebody from — your house, or a specific event.

New Years I was originally supposed to spend by myself — or with friends, supposedly — because my girlfriends’ family said I could absolutely not attend the new years events they were planning because I wasn’t “family.” I went from “well, sucks, I would’ve liked to hang with my girlfriend on New Years,” to “ah well, I’m sure it’s an important event to the Japanese,” and then to “what the hell…!”, in chronological order.

The reason I went from “ah well” to “what the hell” was that my neighbor Kim, who has gotten a girlfriend fairly recently, was invited to her family’s New Years celebration — so with me and my girlfriend closing in on two years (or one year, if you don’t count the time before I came to Japan), what is so horribly bad about me attending? My girlfriend informed me it was a matter of to what degree the family values Japanese traditions, and I suppose that makes sense. And besides, she eventually compromised things so that she can stay here overnight on the 31st so we will be together on New Years in the end — fairy-tale ending all around.

Merry Christmas everyone, by the way. It’s actually snowing in Kyoto. Not the stick-to-the-ground kind of snow, but more the wimpy “it’s sorta white but it could just as well be rain” kind you’d expect in a place this far south. On New Years Eve (the 24th, that is), I and my girlfriend went to Kim’s apartment and hung out with 5 other people, ate Swedish christmas food (hurray for IKEA), and watched Kalle Ankas julafton (hurray for BitTorrents) on my neighbor’s computer (hurray for … Windows?), and drank glögg (hurray for IKEA).

The 25th, me and my girlfriend took it slow and went around a shopping mall, and then in the evening we went to an awesome Yakiniku restaraunt (basically a BBQ-style restaurant) near where she lives. I came home just earlier now, and woke Kim up to hear the horrific news…

Originally he was meant to go to his girlfriend’s place and stay there several nights over into the new year, with the one compromise that he sleep “with the men” in some separate place. Yesterday evening, around 11 pm, they changed their mind about this arrangement. They decided that nah, he can’t sleep there after all, because “the brother will be out and about a lot, and Kim won’t know how to operate the gas/electricity system.”

Translation: “bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit, bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit/bullshit bullshit.” So Kim’s to go there today and return back home today. Gee, that is absolutely horrendous. And so inconceivably incorrect, courtesy-wise. The reason, we think, is actually that his girlfriend has been coming to Kyoto a little too often and been staying a little too late lately, so her mother has gotten grumpy. Mothers, I tell you, scary people.

I can’t speak for others living in Japan with Japanese girl- or boyfriends, but I know that for me, the biggest shock coming here has been and most likely will continue to be, the codes of conduct regarding hospitality. The abysmal differences in how to behave properly, and how to be hospitable.

I’m back home now, after taking that JLPT exam, and I must admit it didn’t go very well. The first part went worse than it usually does, and had lots of things I had to guess the answer to, the listening part went worse than it usually does, but went well enough, and the third part went worse than it usually does, which is to say it went pretty much to crap. I hope it went better for you others.

Then again, I’m comparing the outcome of “the real thing” to the exams I’ve taken at home, and I can only say there’s quite a big difference, even though I put in the effort to make it as similar as possible (time restraints etc. were all the same).

What had me worried before the exam was whether I’d end up not actually hearing the listening part, speaker-wise, but that wasn’t a problem at all. I may still pass, but that’d take some major luck. If I fail, I’ll be disappointed but not “you’re shitting me” surprised.

I bought two onigiris and one triangle-sandwich, two bars of chocolate and a bottle of tea on my way there, and realized that I should’ve bought more food and less chocolate.

There is a supposed 50 (I think?) minute break between the 2nd and 3rd parts but for some odd reason, we had to listen to the 12th problem one more time and so we only got something like 25 minutes of lunch-break. I wanted to eat more but I didn’t have anything with me and going to a store was out of the question (everyone else goes to the store on the lunch break so the lines are too long).

In any case, that’s it for 2Q, on to 1Q. I decided from the beginning that I’d take this one once and then move on, no matter how it went. With a bit of luck I might pass after all, so that’s what I’m hoping for. Will know “in the middle of February”.

It’s midnight between Friday and Saturday now, and on Sunday morning I will be taking that JLPT exam I’ve been going on about all this time. It’s been a slightly bumpy road (starting my kanji studies less than a year earlier) but with a bit of luck and a good attitude I should pass without problems. Then on to Ikkyuu (the level 1 exam) next year, and I can go home without regrets. Tomorrow I’m waking up at 8.30 am simply because I usually wake up around 10.00, and I don’t want to feel sleepier than necessary on Sunday.

In the morning, knowing me, I will get very little studies in and will simply doodle about doing nothing special, then dinner with the girlfriend in the evening, and then to bed early since I get up early. I will hopefully be tired enough from waking up earlier than usual on Saturday that I’ll fall asleep despite nervousness etc. Yeah, I’m pretty nervous about this in the end. I have this one shot and I paid money and all that so I don’t know how I will react to this all ultimately. I don’t think I’ve ever prepared for something for as long and as intensively as I have for this exam, so I guess it’s no wonder I’m antsy.

Anyway, wish me luck. I won’t actually know whether I pass or fail until February (…!) but I bet I’ll have a feeling whether it went well or not. The others of you out there — Thomas, Mark, Shiho, and all the damn Swedes zerg-rushing Kyoto, new and old friends alike, good luck on Sunday!