I did wonder. Your name seems Japanese, but maybe it’s just a nickname you use. I thought maybe you were Japanese but not living in Japan, thus not knowing how to read kanjis, or maybe not knowing Japanese at all before you started studying. No need to answer that one unless you feel like you wanna.

Edit: Oh and happy new years!

Woahh, you live in Japan? Lucky! My friend is currently in Nara right now xP. I live in Canada, by the way.

Yeah, the Japanese put a big emphasis on “family time” during the new years. I hope you don’t take it too badly.

Happy late holidays~

As for drinking with Japanese, unfortunately the girl’s dad can’t drink a drop of alcohol – and knows it, so he doesn’t ever drink anything at all. The mother on the other hand… *snickers*

As for the New Years… well, I made a compromise with my girlfriend. Whenever they have some “family only” event in the future and I’m not invited, she’s obligated to take me on a super-awesome date in compensation. A fair trade, I say, and I might even enjoy that more than I would have the family event.

I think everything depends a lot on the girl’s family, and I’m quite lucky in that regard. Before I even came to live in Japan, after having been together with my girlfriend for only a few months, I was still invited over by her family for New Year’s as I had planned to visit from the UK for 2 weeks over that period.

Of course I was made to sleep in my girlfriend’s bedroom, and she slept in the room with her parents, but I still got to spend the time with them, including walking up to the shrine after the midnight bells had tolled. It wasn’t a big family gathering though, just 6 of us including my girlfriend’s brother and his wife.

I think I was quite fortunate that at the time of my initial introduction to my girlfriend’s parents we weren’t actually dating, just friends – as we’d first met in London. So while I was travelling I came to Japan to see her, and did the whole introduction, and then proceeded to drink with her dad. I think it could have been the demonstration at that time that while he, like a lot of Japanese, couldn’t handle his alcohol and passed out drunk, I was still very much ok, and therefore got some sort of seal of approval. Maybe.

But I really do consider myself very fortunate with her family. They’ve been very accepting and, although cautious about my future job prospects – as I’m sure all parents are – very kind to us both.

Oh, and if I may, I’d like to add an announcement. I asked my girlfriend to marry me on Christmas Eve while we were staying in a nice ryokan I surprised her with, and she accepted. So I’m a very happy bunny.

Enjoy the rest of your holidays Kalle!

When I brought this thing up in school, my teacher was quite baffled, though, and couldn’t possibly understand why they wouldn’t let me be with them during the New Year, so it’s not a dominant way of thinking by far. I think as I wrote above, that this has to do with hospitality and what is and isn’t proper, as much as it does me being a foreigner or me and my girlfriend not being married. In Sweden, NOT inviting someone close to the family (e.g. being the boyfriend of a/the daughter of the family) to a family thing* is considered quite improper — absurd, even.

Edit: *when they are physically unable to spend that family thing with their own family

Seems I’m quite lucky with my girlfriend and her parents. I’m sure they’d want us to get married asap, but at least I feel like they really try their best to treat me well. Also, I think I’ve become quite good at acting along with Japanese manners and understand the Japanese way of thinking, which of course helps a bit..

By the way, didn’t mean this as an explanation for you, Kalle. I’m sure you already know the uchi/soto concept and all this stuff. Just my own thoughts and possibly people not living in Japan could be interested.